The List

Friday, October 29, 2010

#969 Disrupted elevator trips

We all want that uninterrupted trip on the elevator. There's something inexplicably gratifying about making it to your destination in one shot, especially if you're covering a significant amount of floors. It just feels...right.
Celebrating an uninterrupted elevator trip

Even as a kid, this was slightly annoying. As a kid, we used to wait for the elevator to reach our floor and jump as the elevator stopped at our destination, thus giving us what felt like 3 extra feet of air. If you didn't do this, my apologies for you missing out on a fulfilling childhood. When the trip was suddenly and unexpectedly disrupted, our chance at the elevator moon jump was stolen away from us. It was this trauma (no, that's not too strong of a word) that may explain our current annoyance with elevator trip interference.

Like many slightly annoying situations, a good stare at the fun-ruiner may make you feel a better.  Have at it.

It's just slightly annoying.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

#970 When people use the wrong homophone

To, too, two.
Effect, affect.
Than, then.
Your, you're.
Their, they're, there.
Etc.



Let's be honest, we're all guilty of doing this at some point. I'm sure that somewhere on this blog, there is a common homophone mistake somewhere. That doesn't make it any less annoying when someone else uses the incorrect homophone. 

Not to be a grammar Nazi, but SCHRITT ES DAMEN, ES RECHT ZU ERHALTEN!!

It's just slightly annoying.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

#971 Spam mail

It's exciting when you have an email in your inbox. There's so many possibilities in an email: free stuff, a catch-up letter from an old friend, important alerts, updates, tracking information on your new mail-order bride, someone reaching out to meet you...an email could be anything! As we all know though, that's quite the double edged sword.

Instead of all these awesome things, we've become more accustomed to spam mail. The most anticlimactic mail out there. It comes in all forms and with all crazy types of content. No, I'm not going to provide you with my credit card information so you can "deposit 1,000,000 dollars into my account." No, I don't care to increase my penis size (maybe store that one to read later). Just because I once bought a desk online doesn't mean I'm interested in hearing about great deals on a 12-pack of desks. No, I still don't want to increase my penis size (I wonder if girls get these. I wonder if anyone else gets these actually. This could be a bad sign). There's no need to go on and on with this, we all get these emails. Before you get too excited about seeing some mail in your inbox, pull back a little and brace yourself for a slight dissapointment.

It's just slightly annoying.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

#972 Food encroachment

A plate in danger of food encroachment.
Food encroachment isn't in everyday vocabulary and it's definitely not in the dictionary, but it should be. Here's a freebie for you Webster.

Food encroachment [food en-krohch-muh-nt]
noun
The act of one food (normally a condiment of sorts) infringing on another food.

This is pretty much the slightly annoying occurrence that happens on your plate when, for example, your gravy spills over from your turkey into your asparagus. Sometimes we do this to ourselves by accidentally placing a food too close to another food, and sometimes its an act of God at work. Regardless, you usually end up with an unwanted food combination that's not the end of the world, but still kind of sucks. When you put that ketchup on your plate for your fries, little did you know that it would end up on your turkey club sandwich. Your best solution is to grab a french fry (or whatever food that condiment was intended for) and use it as an edible mop to mop up the invading condiment before it's too late. Edible cleaning supplies...mmmmmm.

It's just slightly annoying.

Monday, October 25, 2010

#973 The top and bottom piece of bread

What are you even supposed to do with this piece of bread? It looks so innocent from the reverse side, and then you flip it over and wow, would you look at that? It's just one giant piece of crust.
We all know the piece lurking at the bottom.

Here's a genius idea: make a loaf of bread, throw out the top and bottom piece, replace them with edible pieces of bread, sell it. I'll be your first buyer. Step your game up Wonder Bread.

It's just slightly annoying.

Friday, October 22, 2010

#974 Cars that take up two parking spots

Nah, it's fine, don't worry about it, no body wanted to park in that other spot anyway. I'll just take a few laps around the lot and have to settle with the most undesirable spot in the parking lot. Yeah, you know the one, the spot next to the shopping carts...ugh.

Is calling out New Jersey drivers played out yet?

It's just slightly annoying.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

#975 Hearing someone else tell your joke

It takes some wit to think of a joke that's good enough to repeat. Once you say that joke and hear the warm reaction though, you can gratifyingly put that joke into your mental bank and store it away for later use with another crowd. That's your joke and everyone that heard it knows that.

Sometimes, someone greedy is lurking in your audience. Someone who puts your joke into their own mental pocket with selfish intentions. Of course, you won't realize your joke is in danger of theft until it's too late. You might be in the middle of a conversation with someone else or you might just be walking by, when you hear some guy (sorry girls, let's be honest, you're not very funny) telling your joke. Externally, you'll just shrug it off, because it would be kind of overblown to flat out confront him about the imaginary copyright infringement he just committed; you don't want to be that guy. Internally, however, you'll feel the slight twinge of annoyance at the idea of other people thinking that this guy is the witty comedian. Before your slightly annoyed feeling evolves into a fiery hatred, relax big guy, you've got plenty of jokes left up there in that noggin of yours. Life goes on.

It's just slightly annoying.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

#976 Radio commercials

In today's society, you need advertising on your source of media to pay the bills. The radio is no exception. It's understandable to some extent, but its a sad advertisement-filled path that this world is on.

The radio already has enough competition, with iPod players, CDs, and you kids and your fancy tape decks. When radio stations air commercials, it's like they're airing a reason to tune to another station. That's like Verizon coming out with a deal that gives you a free Sprint phone when your plan is up. Hey radio commercials, thanks for a legitimately good reason to have to aggravatingly flip through all of my stations so I can find the same top 40 song playing somewhere else.

People say that radio is a dying breed. Well guess what radio commercials? You're speeding up its extinction.

It's just slightly annoying.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

#977 Chips breaking off into the salsa

Isn't it great when two delicious foods come together and make one super mega delicious food? Brownies and ice cream, peanut butter and jelly, nachos and cheese, anything edible in this world and ranch, and a fan favorite, chips and salsa.

Chips and salsa may be a fan favorite, but when chips break off during a salsa scoop, our delicious snack's enjoyability and perfection goes Tiger Woods on us (no, you misunderstood me, our chips and salsa don't cheat on us and have sex with lots of other chips and salsa...it just goes from beloved and perfect to sad and depressing). Everything seems to be going so well with your delectable snack when all of the sudden you hear it. The "crack" of the chip breaking off into your salsa bowl. You look down, and there it is, your chip, sinking into the salsa like the Titanic in the Atlantic. If you act fast, you can quickly grab two more chips and do the scoop and rescue, but regardless of the outcome of your actions, you know that your chip will be too soggy to ever be the same again.

It's just slightly annoying.

Monday, October 18, 2010

#978 The number of sports teams that California has

The Oakland Raiders.
The San Diego Chargers.
The San Francisco 49ers.

The Los Angeles Dodgers.
The San Francisco Giants.
The Anaheim Angels.
The Oakland Athletics.
The San Diego Padres.

The Golden State Warriors.
The Los Angeles Clippers.
The Los Angeles Lakers.
The Sacramento Kings.

The Anaheim Ducks.
The Los Angeles Kings.
The San Jose Sharks.

Fifteen teams in the four major sports. Come on California, really? 

It's just slightly annoying.

Friday, October 15, 2010

#979 Wobbly tables

You'll most likely try to ignore this for quite some time before you come to the conclusion that your handwriting has been suffering a large blow and relaxing with your feet up on a table that rocks back and forth just isn't that nice. They should sell little pieces of cardboard to complement tables. Buy one table, get a piece of cardboard free. I'm looking at you IKEA.

It's just slightly annoying.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

#980 Music that automatically plays on a web page

By all means, put music on your site, especially if your site is music-related. But let's be humane here; make the music playback contingent on the user's push of a 'play' button. There's no need to have it start up automatically, scaring the H-E-double-hockey-sticks out of us and embarrassing us when our volume happens to be raised and we're in a public setting.

Not only is this surprisingly scary when your volume happens to be turned up, but it's also slightly annoying. God forbid you ever need to actually use this site to find information and there's no way to stop the music. If the MIDI ringtone-sounding music playing on the site isn't good in the first 30 seconds, it sure as hell won't be good after half hour of searching through the site for the information you need. If you're going for the "I don't care if people can concentrate on the information that I took the time to put on this site" attitude, then go ahead and kick out the incessant tuneage on your site.

It's just slightly annoying.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

#981 Facebook profile pictures that aren't a picture of the person

We get it, you love that athlete, you think that picture is hilarious, that picture of your buddy is really embarrassing, you're promoting something, etc.


It's definitely respectable to be so passionate about something or someone that you want to show it off and it's definitely acceptable to get that picture of your buddy and show it to the world. But it's just slightly annoying when the rest of the world is looking through their facebook, and they see an unfamiliar face in their news feed or a name that doesn't match a picture. Glancing through your facebook friends, you may not have realized that you were friends with Michael Jordan, a philanthropy, an animal, a "break in case of emergency" sticker (lolz, that hilarious inside joke with one of your 600 facebook friends) and a few inanimate objects. It's crazy who gets on facebook nowadays.

It's just slightly annoying.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

#982 Hometown foods in other places

Oh really random truck stop in the middle of Indiana, you sell a Philadelphia cheesesteak? I assure you that you do not.

Oh, neat! New England clam chowder all the way over here in California. No. That's just clam chowder in California.

Oh, how about that, Chicago deep dish pizza, right here in nowheresville, Texas. Yeah, no.

It wouldn't be slightly annoying, it actually might actually be slightly enjoyable, if these hometown foods were replicated correctly and deliciously, but of course they are not. Our hometowns become slightly disgraced a little more each time someone orders our favorite hometown dish. I say we boycott any food name that has a city name preceding it, but I'm sure there's already a radical group of food lovers out there somewhere doing that right now. We support you!

It's just slightly annoying.

Monday, October 11, 2010

#983 Coming up short on the check after everyone chips in

This may or may not be an occurrence that only happens with the younger generations, but it's a problem that has plagued our lives for years. With cash being thrown around, that guy only having a twenty dollar bill (yeah, you know the guy), bad math and people paying and leaving, the collected money total never seems to equal the dinner check total, let alone the socially acceptable tip total. Everything always seems to be going so well, a twenty here, a ten here, a couple of ones for the tip. Then comes the final count and....this problem again? This more often than not leads to the dinner table accountant asking everyone to cough up one more dollar, which more often than not leads to someone just paying way too much to cover the difference.

Obama approves dinner check bailouts.
The solution you ask? Separate checks. Splitting amongst credit cards instead of doing cash. Good math. Stop hanging out with the guy that only brings twenty dollar bills out to eat the seven dollar meals at Applebees. Multi-billion dollar bailout plan. All viable solutions to fix the dinner check phenomenon. Maybe we have to be responsible adults to fix the problem; I don't see any of them asking for a buck from everyone at the table. For any responsible adults reading this, I tip my hat to you sir or madam.


It's just slightly annoying.

Friday, October 8, 2010

#984 The Internet's "Work Offline" option

Maybe I just don't understand it (I definitely don't understand it), but this option seems pointless and extremely oxymoronic. After taking a second to recognize the greatness of the word 'oxymoronic,' ponder yourself this. Why would you ever open up the internet to go online and click the "work offline" button?

Okay, okay. After doing extensive research online (not offline, thank you very much), it turns out there's a small practicality of this mode. So small that I dare not delve into the details.
 
To make matters just slightly annoying, sometimes the internet will randomly go onto this mode, all on its own. The computer knows what slightly annoys you. It must enjoy forcing you to go up to the 'file' tab and uncheck the highlighted option.  I guess it's the computer's payback for all of those hours you wasted its time watching porn youtube videos.

It's just slightly annoying.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

#985 Typing out the site name, "1000slightlyannoyingthings.blogspot.com"

Might as well address the elephant in the room. Typing in the full name of this website (http://www.1000slightlyannoyingthings.blogspot.com) kind of sucks; it's long and a bit cumbersome.  Ideas and solutions are circulating, that I promise. Until then, keep on going through the hassle of typing in this site's name and going through 1000 Slightly Annoying Thing's facebook and twitter, it's beyond appreciated!



It's just slightly annoying.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

#986 When your pen runs out of ink mid-sentence

If you're writing something in pen, you're almost always doing something productive. Pen = hard work. Anyone that knows anything knows that. We should be rewarded for our hard work. Sometimes, however, we are met with not reward, but with annoyance. This annoyance comes with the familiar feeling of disappointment when your pen runs out of ink mid-sentence. But wait! Don't get slightly annoyed yet. Be sure to try out one or more of these recognizable pen revival options before getting out of your hard-work chair.

1. The Shake. This is the easiest of the options. You simply turn your pen into a mini shakeweight. Ignoring all sexual connotations, you should just shake that thing until you get the useful liquid to the tip. This move should usually be done two to four times, for less than five seconds at a time. After performing The Shake, you should try out your pen on the paper again. If this move yields no results, consider moving on to option 2.

2. The Lick. This option requires a bit more involvement, but still only requires basic motor functions. The rookies will go right ahead and lick the tip of the pen, but us pros know that you always start with lubricating the fingers, and playing with the tip (of the pen). Go ahead, lick your index finger and thumb, put the tip in between your fingers and lubricate the tip. After lubrication and stimulation, you should attempt to write on the piece of paper yet again. Still no luck? The battle isn't over yet.

3. The Paper Switch. It's totally not the pen, it must be the paper. Try your pen out on a different piece of paper or in the margins of your current piece of paper. When you realize the absurdity behind that logic, move onto to the next actual logical option. Quick side note: sometimes, to be slightly annoying, your pen will decide to work in the margins of your paper, but not where you need it to. In either case, your problem is not solved.

4. The Surface Switch. Ah, this is actually logical. Sometimes a pen's tip just legitimately will not respond well on a certain surface. WARNING: Finding a different surface to put your paper on may require getting out of your seat.

5. Discard pen. Sorry buddy, your pen is dead. Do not throw your worthy pen out though. Once you have written off a pen (how do you like that pun?) as dead, you should know that it will work very easily for someone else, or later that day when you no longer need it.

Because of natural selection and the survival of the fittest, these revival techniques are ingrained into our minds during birth. How else do you think that you read all of those options and already knew exactly what they were?

At least with the trustworthiness of a computer, we know that we will never run out of "digital ink" in the midd

It's just slightly annoying.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

#987 Not being able to turn on red

There's a real lack of trust going on in this world. We are obviously not trusted on the roads nowadays.


They don't just give out licenses you know. You have to earn that thing. You have to prove you know the traffic laws. So where do these signs get off telling us that we can't turn on red? You listen here "no turn on red" sign, I know to look both ways (once again, this won't apply to you New Jersey drivers) before moving on a red light, not because I know the traffic laws, but because basic survival skills tell me to do so. These inherent, basic survival skills have taught us that we probably shouldn't move our car in front of a moving car. These very same basic survival skills also taught us how to hunt, kill and unscrew signs too. We're coming after you NTOR signs (see what I did there?) and there shall be no mercy for the annoyance you've caused us over the course of history.

A stop sign this time, a No Turn on Red sign next time!

 It's just slighty annoying.

Monday, October 4, 2010

#988 Remembering someone's name after they leave

You're out and about, minding your own business, taking care of a few things and oh, look, it's that kid you met last night. What was his name again? Your close buddy introduced you two and you guys really hit it off last night.

Maybe he's just passing you, in which case, if you're a male, you can just get away with the head nod and maybe a casual "what up" or fist bump. If you're a girl, maybe you get by with the polite, elongated "hhhhiiiiiiii," and maybe a quick side-hug. As long as he doesn't address you by...oh, yeah, he got your name right. Damn.


You're no rookie to this game though. You know how to successfully get by with the substitute of buddy, dude, man, pal, friend, boy, girl, jobin, or any other generic address. The bold few will go ahead and take a stab at it...and usually fail; guessing "Steve" or "Jessica" every time doesn't work.

Decent form for a side hug.
Don't worry though, no less than one minute after making a complete ass out of yourself, you'll suddenly have an epiphany of name remembrance, just in time to be too late.

It's just slightly annoying.

Friday, October 1, 2010

#989 Figuring out how to take a screen shot

There's a reason that everyone's screenshot happens to also have an internet tab inconspicuously open that says "how to take a screenshot." It's a really useful idea, so why make it so complicated to figure out? Command+Shift+4? Really? Come on. Did the shortcut maker at Apple headquarters come to work drunk one day, flail around on some keys and call it a shortcut? I don't even want to know what the "shortcut" for a screenshot is on a PC.
 

It's just slightly annoying.