#886 People who don't eat the crust

How are you going to eat 95% of your food and just leave the rest? In some countries, that's punishable by death (citation needed). It's only a few more bites. Delicious bites.

You people may be slightly annoying but I am slightly grateful for you. 10 times out of 10, I will be the guy that asks...you gonna eat that? Chances are that if I asked you, I know you're one of these people. That crust is mine, thank you.

It's just slightly annoying.

#887 Cover charges

Keep up the good work!

Oh, really? I have to pay to get inside of your building? Perfect.

Oh, really? Even though I already paid you for nothing, everything is still way overpriced? Even better.

Let's live in a world where people pay us to go into their building instead of the opposite. That sounds like the kind of world I want to live in.

It's just slightly annoying.

#888 Not being able to touch anything after eating wings

Mmmm...chicken wings. It's amazing that this food's sauce can render our hands useless. After our hands are covered in sauce, we abandon our opposable thumbs and we pick things up with the awkward wrist grab. You know the one.

The awkward "my hands are covered in sauce" wrist grab is simple. Put your arms out straight in front of you. Turn them so that each palm is facing each other. Point your palms straight out in front of you. Pick things up not with your hands, but instead by placing them in between your wrists. Be sure to fumble around with whatever your picking up, dropping it several times and knocking over over things in the process.

It's just slightly annoying.

#889 Not being able to find where the roll of tape starts

This can't be our fault. Let's blame it on the tape creators. You can't see the start of the tape and you can barely feel it.  Come on Scotch, can't you put a little marker indicating where the tape starts? We don't need the embarrassment, aggravation and the time consumption that is brought on by your camouflaged starting point.

It's just slightly annoying.

#890 Note cards that don't have lines on either side

How are we supposed to write in a straight line if there are no lines to guide us? Where is the point of reference on these cards?

I feel like I may or may not be in limbo (Inception reference, work with me here) when writing on these lineless note cards. It's dangerous when anything goes.

It's just slightly annoying.

#891 Automatic doors that open too slowly

Sometimes it's faster to struggle with a regular door than to wait for a slow moving automatic door. Hey auto-doors, thanks, but no thanks.

It's just slightly annoying.

#892 When ice cubes rush to your face when drinking out of a cup

Look at them, conspiring against us.

This phenomenon is both slightly annoying and slightly terrifying. It's like an avalanche of ice cubes headed straight for you and there's nothing you can do about it. Oh, except use a straw.

It's just slightly annoying.

#893 Filling your tank and finding out that gas is cheaper down the road

Gas stations shouldn't be as close as they usually are in the first place and they especially shouldn't be very different prices. Whenever gas stations are different prices, the price differentiation never seems to work out in your favor. You'll have already filled up when you pass that gas station that costs 10 cents less per gallon.

Oh, what's that you see at the gas station you didn't go to? Free hot dog, balloon animal and ice cream cone with every tank of gas you buy there? Chances are that something along the lines of this will occur in your life, you might as well be prepared for that slap in the face.

It's just slightly annoying.

#894 The chip-to-air ratio in a bag of chips

A display of delicious chips? More like
a display of bitter deception.

The ultimate deception lies within your standard bag of chips. It's no secret that any given bag of chips, regardless of its size, is 60% full of air and 40% full of chips. Even those percentages are extremely generous. How have we stood by and let this happen for so long? The first chip company to make transparent bags, so we can really see what we're buying, will make a loyal customer out of me.

It's just slightly annoying.

#895 Soggy hoagies

Looks perfect, right? We won't know
until we get our hands on this bad boy.

Regardless of what you may call it, a hoagie or a sub or a grinder, it can be agreed upon that a soggy sandwich can turn a great eating experience into a slightly annoying one. Is it our own fault for piling too much into one sandwich or, if we are ordering one, is it the sandwich creator's fault for using bad bread or going too heavy on the condiments? There is no clear answer to that question and there is no clear remedy for the problem. If you see that your delicious sandwich has succumbed to sogginess, prepare for sticky hands and a meal that crumbles in your hands and try to make the best of it. You will live to see another day and another sandwich; there's always next time.

It's just slightly annoying.

#896 Character limits

160 characters really isn't that much for
a text message.

Can there really be any significant difference in technology to allow a large character limit on a phone or computer? Why put a character limit on anything? Sometimes there's a lot to say, and by "a lot," I mean more than the paragraph that character limits allow. I'd rather send one message, instead of three, thank you very much.


It's just slightly annoying.

#897 Eating a caramel apple

It just doesn't feel right to call this slightly annoying. We must face the truth though. As delicious as caramel apples are, you know it's going to end in sticky fingers, gunk in your teeth, nuts all over the floor, and a stick to dispose of.

Caramel apples should be like Fun Dip, where everything is edible and nothing is too sticky. A child's dream come true.

It's just slightly annoying.

#898 When someone comes in your room and doesn't close the door on the way out

This always seems to happen right when you've found the perfect spot on the couch or right when the room hits the perfect temperature. Nothing kills the mood you want in a room more than an intruder that leaves the door open. If you find this happening a lot, it's time to make some new friends.

It's just slightly annoying.

#899 The smell of your hands after handling coins

They should make scented money. It would make banks so pungent. To find a bank, you'd just stick your head out the window and sniff. Your piggy bank would act as an air freshener. Blind people would be able to distinguish different coins and different bills easily. We wouldn't have the immediate need to find the nearest sink to wash our hands of the dirty, metallic smell that our hands reek of after touching coins.

Pennies, chocolate scented. Nickels, cookies just out of the oven scented. Dimes, freshly cut grass scented. Quarters, new shoes scented. Your piggy bank, mom-bringing-freshly-baked-chocolate-chip-cookies-to-you-while-you-have-a-picnic-on-the-grass-in-your-new-kicks scented.




Scented money = good.
The smell of your hands after handling coins...

It's just slightly annoying.

#900 Wearing warm clothes because it's cold in the morning but then being too hot later in the day

You think you have it under control when you put on that long sleeved fleece and jeans in the morning. It's cold! The weather man has informed you that it will get a little hotter, but the "real feel" isn't an unbearable temperature for jeans and long sleeves.

At this point in your life, you must realize that you are wrong just about 100% of the time.  The slight annoyance that we feel when overheating in the inappropriate clothes is one of the many reasons that we should bring snap pants back to fashion.

Mother Nature is out to get us. I'm sure I've said that before, because I'm sure it's true. I'd like to meet Father Nature and ask him what he was thinking when he married such an evil being. Guess what Mother Nature? We're (inadvertently) going to global warm your home and you're going to be as inappropriately dressed as you have us on so many days.

It's just slightly annoying.

#901 When your car frosts over on the outside and inside

How is this fair? You can't fix this immediately; you can't have the defogger and the heat on at the same time. The frost doesn't even need an open window to crawl through, it just magically gets in your car and makes an ice sculpture out of everything.

It's just slightly annoying.

#902 Forgetting a pencil with a full day of classes ahead of you

Your forgetfulness will make you "that kid" that has to ask someone to borrow a pencil every single class for the rest of the day. It's not that big of a deal really, but there's just something about knowing you have to depend on others all day that's slightly annoying. For no apparent reason, there's also something slightly annoying about someone asking you to borrow one of your pencils. As you ask to borrow a pencil, you know the exact feeling that pencil lender is feeling, which makes it even worse for you. Making things even more worse, 9 times out 10, the pencil that they lend you probably won't have an eraser. Good luck with that.

You don't want to find yourself on either ends of this predicament. You should avoid this annoyance altogether. Don't forget to remember, you pencil borrower.

It's just slightly annoying.

#903 When you try to pull into a parking spot and there's a shopping cart in the middle of the spot

What a let down this feeling is, especially in a crowded parking lot. You finally see the golden spot, and a shopping cart is sitting right there in the middle of it, trying to act innocent.

If you're lucky, you'll have a selfless passenger who will get out of the car to solve this problem. Let's be real though, if you do have a passenger, they're probably not going to want to get out of the car to move that cart. You'll circle the lot six times before you decide to move that cart. When you finally do decide that you'll man up to go move it to park, the wind will have blown it out of the way and another car will have parked there. Regardless of what happens, two things are probably true: you're not getting the spot and that cart will not be moved until a worker comes and moves it several hours later.

It's just slightly annoying.